Sensible Small Steps And Social Skills For Successful Selling

Rowan Blair Colver
4 min readMay 9, 2022


Lucid Leadership by Rowan B. Colver

Leadership Is Selling A Vision

Selling is everywhere and it’s not just in the showroom or marketplace. We sell to each other all the time, and the way we communicate our desires and likes to each other involves a lot of selling. We want our friends and family to see things from our point of view so we make it clear to them. When we go to a job interview, we are in the ultimate act of selling. We sell ourselves to the best of our ability and manufacture our image and answers to make us look as attractive as possible. Leadership is all about bringing people together under one good idea. We intend to build teams and customer bases that fit right together, gain value and build contentment and help us all to achieve what we want in life.

Taking The Pain Away

Customer and team satisfaction is what we want, when someone exchanges their money for our time or product, we need them to be happy about doing it. Good business makes people happy and they go away feeling the value in their exchange. The act of selling to a person is not straightforward, as you have no doubt experienced for yourself, people are naturally aversive to being sold anything. When you think about the term “sold” it suggests something negative to a lot of us. Although it’s a perfectly normal word for when an exchange involves money, it also dehumanises the customer. It whittles the service down to taking the money and thank you very much. Leadership goes way beyond this, and if you want your brand to lead the market in whatever you do, it won’t be enough.

Don’t Be The Classic Sales Person

The way people interpret you is only partially in your hands. We can’t help the way they perceive us and our words, so we have to give customers the best shot at getting it right. This means we have to choose the language we use and the method of communicating it to suit the fact we are on the business side of the equation. We all know how classic salespeople use tricks of the trade to get our money. This is what other people think we are up to if we let them think it. Of course, we are not this “typical salesperson” and are offering genuine value and genuine benefits. If we use language that sounds like this, though, people will begin to switch off. A genuine leader in their field wants customers and clients to get the best option for them, they want to find out exactly what they’re looking for and provide it to them. This is the reverse of what we’re perhaps used to, in which someone insists the thing we know nothing about is just right for us, who they know nothing about.

People Are Usually Rushing

When you scan the page of a newspaper, scroll the feed, or when the TV turns to commercials, it’s unlikely you’ll pay attention to the entire thing. People look and listen to what interests them. This means that in all of our communication, we must get straight to the point. The point of interest is what will get people to pay attention. Tell the public exactly what you can do for them in one or two lines. Then summarise how you intend to do it after. Once you’ve done this, and delivered the things you need people to know, then you might want to tell a bit of a story before summing up your product again. To put it simply, we don’t pay attention unless we have a reason to. You need to provide that reason straight away or your message will be lost.

But This Is More Important

The word “but” is small but powerful. It has the ability to negate what comes before it in order to elevate what comes after. It takes away any interest in the previous word in favour of the latter one. This is extremely persuasive when comparing items. If you say but about your own items you are effectively detracting from them. It is highly advisable not to do this. Instead the word “and” does not detract but builds on the foundation of the previous word. The principle in this is called self-contamination. We project the idea that there is a flaw, fault, or issue with our product or service with little words and phrases we don’t properly consider. In selling, this is the antithesis of what we want. If we can’t honestly be 100% positive about what we offer then it needs more work. Sometimes it’s just a matter of confidence, standing totally in our own light requires more than the average dose.

If you want to get ahead with confidence then I highly recommend this brilliant online course.



Rowan Blair Colver

Music writer and humanities educator from Sheffield in England. Democracy of philosophy, comments are welcome.